Spilling Out ...

I scream in poetries, laugh in sonnets, cry in acrostics, love in odes. Wait what?????

This is my laptop I am writing on, not the notepad, because I know if I were writing on a notepad, I would have torn a lot of pages. I tried writing for myself after some months, and the more I pressed the keys to write, double that I pressed the backspace to delete. 

Why I am writing today, and exactly what do I want to write? I neither have any questions nor answers. I am just spilling out...

Spilling out some things that I want to say loud but can't do. I am living a life rather, I am breathing the breaths. 

For the past some time, I am trying to communicate with some people but forgot when did I communicate with myself. When did I express myself to myself? 

Sometimes when I go back to the pages I wrote, I realize what not have changed about myself. 

I think it's human nature to change their surroundings when they don't feel good.  Sometimes we prefer changing the room - setup, sometimes our routine, sometimes our personality, and sometimes people. One thing we forgot to change is our mindset. 

My head is spinning with a lot of unsolved stories and plots and I am not able to see over them clearly.  Life is becoming a struggle day by day, which if I won't enjoy welcoming, would ruin me as a person. 

Out of everything we do to live our lives, somewhere there is an emotional factor that sometimes may be hidden but exists in every person.  No matter how stubborn and emotionally independent we are, there comes a time when we become dependent and weak. 

This is the worst phase of life, handling our emotions. Expressing emotions doesn't make us weak, but spilling them to someone who doesn't care does. Feelings should not be controlled, also, shouldn't come as a disaster. 

I am a professional content designer, and above that, I am a writer. Apart from my writing job,  which is more of writing with the mind, I am a writer, who writes with heart. And to really express me, I do write. 

I scream in poetries, I laugh in sonnets, I cry in acrostics, I express love in odes and whatnot. 

So, again I am into roleplay. Whatever it takes from love to heartbreak, I am gonna write my heart out. Because I just want to write again. This neutral phase has made me an AI writer which is ultimately upgrading my professional skills and ruining a real writer who when writing in pain, makes her readers feel the pain, who when to write in love, makes her readers feel that love. 

To me,

From me, 

Happy Writing.....